She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
