It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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