Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
