Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
