went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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