I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
