Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
