no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
