After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
It was like giving head to a cactus.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
