It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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