our cab driver is having phone sex.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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