I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
