You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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