WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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