she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
