bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
