you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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