Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
