Ambien. No doubt about it.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize