It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
He is an equal opportunity slut.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
