He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Randomize
