Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize