It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
