Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize