A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Randomize