used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Everything about him screamed your future.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
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