Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
