i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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