but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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