Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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