Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
