Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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