Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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