wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
