Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
