She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
