I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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