if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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