that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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