when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
