Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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