whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
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