I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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