soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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