Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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