do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
