these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
i think my cat just said my name.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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