Define "chronic" masturbator.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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