I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
