HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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