this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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