it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
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