Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize