What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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