Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
handjob tips. give me some.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
