I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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