is your mom at the bar?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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