I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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