well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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