Ambien. No doubt about it.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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