i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
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you will always have a special place in my vag
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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