I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
We had to coat check the pizza.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed