Texts From Last Night

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  (845): View more from New York

  I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.

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  (845): I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway. http://tfl.nu/8j56
  Replies (11) Good night (677) Bad night (1223)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend

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  (303): How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend http://tfl.nu/ip7i
  Replies (18) Good night (4661) Bad night (1284)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.

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  (708): I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT. http://tfl.nu/yg6n
  Replies (32) Good night (5142) Bad night (2414)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Walk of Shame today included voting.

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  (734): Walk of Shame today included voting. http://tfl.nu/glwh
  Replies (26) Good night (6239) Bad night (1040)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak

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  (847): he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak http://tfl.nu/y31q
  Replies (18) Good night (1347) Bad night (5351)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?

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  (203): So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu. (603): You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use? http://tfl.nu/ks5w
  Replies (8) Good night (3103) Bad night (950)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything

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  (609): I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything http://tfl.nu/1m1m
  Replies (11) Good night (2165) Bad night (670)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~

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  (651): Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~ http://tfl.nu/6n7p
  Replies (5) Good night (2352) Bad night (688)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup

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  (207): I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup http://tfl.nu/gqz1
  Replies (20) Good night (1656) Bad night (655)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.

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  (970): Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby. http://tfl.nu/d4tv
  Replies (2) Good night (1333) Bad night (530)
• Favorite

  (731): View more from Tennessee

  She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?

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  (731): She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club? http://tfl.nu/0go2
  Replies (13) Good night (1824) Bad night (649)
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine

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  (574): I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here... (614): Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine http://tfl.nu/936x
  Replies (1) Good night (978) Bad night (416)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.

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  (925): I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time. http://tfl.nu/8l0a
  Replies (1) Good night (661) Bad night (357)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.

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  (281): Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night. http://tfl.nu/m4x3
  Replies (0) Good night (485) Bad night (175)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.

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  (706): I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now. http://tfl.nu/4c49
  Replies (2) Good night (300) Bad night (136)

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