I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize