I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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