Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
These 25 Soulless Industries Have Been Scamming Us For Years
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis