Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college? http://tfl.nu/onzy
  Replies (37) Good night (5522) Bad night (979)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it. http://tfl.nu/vp9s
  Replies (19) Good night (6217) Bad night (1278)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table. http://tfl.nu/8dv6
  Replies (7) Good night (4458) Bad night (989)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny http://tfl.nu/f2gi
  Replies (39) Good night (2316) Bad night (7525)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls? http://tfl.nu/i6ht
  Replies (18) Good night (4157) Bad night (854)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...

  (434): View more from Virginia

  I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (434): Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit... (434): I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade http://tfl.nu/qzwf
  Replies (10) Good night (3461) Bad night (821)
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (574): I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today. http://tfl.nu/7783
  Replies (13) Good night (959) Bad night (1912)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (778): It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing http://tfl.nu/h5t5
  Replies (5) Good night (768) Bad night (1088)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple. http://tfl.nu/9nil
  Replies (5) Good night (866) Bad night (1034)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): Get a piano. I want to have sex on it. http://tfl.nu/t29o
  Replies (19) Good night (2295) Bad night (717)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (563): Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him? http://tfl.nu/taqh
  Replies (5) Good night (1690) Bad night (493)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (321): Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments. http://tfl.nu/oyly
  Replies (2) Good night (1030) Bad night (408)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes (937): Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you. http://tfl.nu/m8ti
  Replies (1) Good night (802) Bad night (410)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again http://tfl.nu/vf35
  Replies (5) Good night (557) Bad night (1046)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (705): you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart http://tfl.nu/i0wq
  Replies (0) Good night (472) Bad night (191)

Randomize