Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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