It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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