so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Randomize
