Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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