Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
