He had one of those small greek statue penises
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
