Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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