Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize